I Can't Beweave It!!!

A trip to Lugo's to get my 18/20 inch brown base perm straight weave (approx 9 oz to be exact) is as important to my beauty regimen as is getting my toti waxed. I bet the ones most bothered by that statement are my "sistas". Other (Black) women. Pssssst Black women just in case you still haven't noticed WE are our own worst enemies. No one on Earth criticizes a woman worse than another woman. Well maybe with the exception of catty men that want to be women but that's another topic altogether. 
I have come across many smart, beautiful Black women that can agree on a million things but the one thing that will always cause friction is the matter of hair. The ones that are "real" versus those that choose to wear weaves, clip on extensions, etc. Please note that my "etc." excludes those that wear common Flatbush Ave lace fronts. Those women are a different life form altogether. I have yet to come across a woman that doesn't instantly feel that she's some how "better" or more "authentic" and "real" than a weave wearer just because she has dreads, no perm or is rocking braids.
I have shocking news for you pretentious bitches. That hair color in your dreadlocks wasn't G*d given. That bouncy roller set that you're rocking is not your natural hair texture. Some Dominican at Marisol's smothered 10 en 1 on your head and then put you under the dryer for an hour after slapping those red, purple and grey rollers in your head. Cut the shit. If you get your eyebrows arched, your nails done, and you shave you're not as natural and real as you think you are. Some of you love to promote that you're #TeamNoMakeup while rocking lip gloss. Oh.  
As women we do certain things to enhance our beauty. Whatever we do reflects what our personal idea of beauty is. No one has a right to judge on whether or not one's idea of beauty is right or wrong. You might not wear weave but I'm sure you're one of the first to throw on a push up bra when you pull out that little black Bebe dress for a night out. As women we have enough issues and adversities to face and we need not add pitting ourselves against another sista to the list. 
Men that claim that they only like "real" women and look down on women that wear weaves are a joke to me. These are the same men that pull out the baby oil while looking through issues of King magazine and episodes of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians". It is my personal opinion and belief that if your penis is less than 7" or you make less than 75 thousand dollars a year you have no right to voice your opinion about women that rock weaves because apparently you could use some help in the length department as well. Your pockets are short and so is your pipe. 
As a grown woman that handles my business in all areas across the board never will I find the need to justify why I choose to be the black Rapunzel whenever I feel like it to anyone male or female. You can look down on me for wearing weave if you want. Whether one is a "real" woman or not should be based upon how she carries herself , takes cares of her loved ones and how she interacts with those in her cipher. Trust and believe that my ovaries and vagina are real. Who cares if all of my hair isn't? Chile please. *flips fabulous weave over shoulder*