The countdown begins. September 18th is the day that one of my closest friends turns 30. A group of us sexy divas are partying in style and going to Vegas to celebrate the big day.
OK - Now I'm panicking....9 weeks until my trip to Vegas. Using psychotic math to calculate my maximum weight loss I decide that it is indeed possible if not ridiculously easy to lose 20 lbs by the time I step into my cab on the way to LaGuardia. The game plan is flawless. I will lose 2 lbs a week by ingesting nothing but soup, salad, coffee and water for the entire time of my "weight loss program". That will only make me 18lbs lighter which is why I must make sure to schedule an appointment for a colonic to get rid of the additional 2 lbs. Maybe afterwards I'll be 23 lbs lighter instead of just 20 !!! That would DEF get me hyped. In which case I would most definitely deserve the Red Velvet cake that I secretly hope we order for Kat's birthday on the night of her bday dinner @ Nobu in Caesar's Palace. Wait a minute - does Nobu serve Red Velvet!?! Aiight in any case I'm getting off topic here. Instead of joining a gym, I'll take the clothes off of my folded up treadmill and actually use the effing thing for an hour a day in addition to jumping rope for 40 minutes when I get home from work. I don't even wanna mention the sickkkkkkkk Ralph Lauren Rugby monokini that I got 2 months ago just for this occasion. I've already started buying my freak 'em dresses/clothes for the trip in a size 4 because thats the size that I will be after all of my hard work. This serves as motivation for me to get off of my lazy ass and actually do what I'm supposed to do! I should have started this last week, but a few extra spicy drumsticks from Popeyes got in between me and my plans so I decided that I should get all of the fatty boombati tendencies out of my system so that once I start I don't falter *hanging head in shame*. Of course I can't tell my best friend who happens to be a personal trainer my plan on executing this quantum weight loss plan (as I like to call it in my head) because he will try to poison my mind with his crazy bullshit talk like, ""Why don't you just cut out your complex sugars?"or "Replace all the sodas you drink with water." Or even more ridiculous, "Take walks during your lunch breaks and cut out the candy snacks" and, "Alternate between small cardio routines and tone up exercises so that you don't overwhelm yourself - you'll start to see a difference". Ummmm f*ck all of that !!! I need to drop the weight and I need 2 drop it NOW !!! The short form fitting fuschia dress that I bought 2 wear on the night that I drunkenly marry some random White guy in the chapel of the Bellagio depends on it !!!! I can just hear Mr. Best Friend now. "The problem isn't around your waistline - the problem is in your head!"
Tiffy, I was gonna call Mr. O (said weight trainer) yesterday, looked at his # in my phone, remembered what you said, then decided to research online how to get rid of the flabby jiggle under my arm thru instead!!! Funny timing that you post this!!! LOL!!
ReplyDeleteSome tips that have been working for me aside from the regular exercise (Pilates, cardio, and LIGHT weights for toning) is to watch your portions by eating on saucers. I end up eating significantly less when I divvy up the meals 5 times a day (they say do 6 but ehhh...). I normally devoured 2200-2600 cals a day but teh saucers trick makes me take in about 1800-2100 a day. (No I don't count cals anymore but I can guesstimate since I learned how to yrs ago).
We've all been there w/ the weight loss goals but if a trip to Vegas is making you think bout dropping 20, then you prolly gonna be one of them cranky Bridezillas we be crackin' on errr Sunday!!! Lose the weight for a good reason. There are many. But not just cuz of some 4 or 5 day trip Boo... :( Good luck and see you in a size 6! :)
Phia, as always thx for the helpful tips. I will DEF be using them. I've already started with the small, frequent meals. I feel you on doing this for a long term, important goal but this drastic, frantic state is a first step for me. No doubt that once I'm back to the weight that I was right after I had Noodle I will love it so much that healthier habits and habitual working out will be a part of my new lifestyle. Again, thx for reading the blog and thx for the advice :D
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